Once upon a time there lived a girl called
Goldilocks, she was called Goldilocks because her hair was golden and hung to
her waist in curly locks. One day she decided to go for a walk in the woods
after a while she came across a cottage, she decided to go in after a while the
owners came back and saw Goldilocks. The Father took out his smartphone and
called the police. She ran away and got into her Ferrari, the police arrived,
it ended in a chase after Goldilocks. After an hours high speed chase the
police caught Goldilocks.
By Emily
I love your post! im at a lost for ideas for my post, in you piece you have some mistakes. one is that you need to put a comma between the in and after. Others are just minor ones that don't have to be fixed.
ReplyDeleteAwsome story very funny
ReplyDeleteI loved your writing piece! I loved the twist at the end about the Ferrari and the smartphone.
ReplyDeleteWell done Emily. I do like this idea of the police being called! You start very well, with some description and correct punctuation. I think you need a full stop when she decides to go in. Have a read and see what you think. I also like the ending where you specify the high speed chase.
ReplyDelete