Hello there Im Brandon kem and i'm going to tell you how to survive nelson
For starters you will need water because the dinosaurs hang close to the water and gets drinks often. And you will need a weapon most likely a gun or firearm and a radio and put it on 97.8FM i know it's the edge but what's left of us talk on and food and seeds to make more food.
You will be drop off at victory square and head up the hill some of us and me will be there waiting for you as soon as you hit the ground run for the hill and don't stop until you see some flags follow them with your life until you hit the base then “welcome to nelson i'm your host brandon and yeah you're stuck here so good luck in nelson”
HI I really like your story especially how you had a general statement that gives background information about the topic. I also liked how you used vocabulary that links cause and effect. Next time You need to use vocabulary associated with time. From Amber N
ReplyDeleteYou used a good concluding statement it drew everything together, You write in present tense at most points, its a good story but next time use some technical terms.
ReplyDeleteThat Comment was from Sam Ctr
ReplyDeleteHey Kynan
ReplyDeleteGreat story it didnt make sense so that is something to work on anyway I love how you used paragraphs. Looking forward to your next story =)
Riley Valley School Pukekohe.