Waiting for a bite, Dad says to Pete "we might have to change our spot to the middle rock where you park your boat and climb inside." We gave up and headed to the middle rock. I clambered in. There was a deep pool. I wait for Dad or Pete to join me in the gloomy cave. I heard Dad call "I can't get in". I started to panic as a jumping worm fish jumps on to my lap. I stare in horror as it bites me and I scream. I couldn't get out, I was trapped. The worm fish said "you have special powers". "Let me go" I cry…
By Hannah
Friday, September 13, 2013
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Well done Hannah!
ReplyDeleteYou have structured your story very well and it added to theme and setting you were trying to get across to the reader. I hope she gets out!!! Oh no
Well done
Tim (Team 100 Word Challenge)
Hello Hannah,
ReplyDeleteWell done on entering the 100wc. I like how you have been got by the fish that you were trying to catch. The shoe is on the other foot as they say where I come from.
Take care when you are writing to keep the tenses all then same. You started in present and then changed to past and then back again.
Well done again
Keep entering the 100wc
Mrs W - Team 100wc
Flamborough, East Yorkshire, England