One hot summers day I was out with my father, we were fishing minutes would pass hours would pass without even one nibble. My father and I were sick and tied of waiting for these stupid fish to bite.
Then all of a sudden there was a bite then another then another and so on I was singing in my head yeah i’ve got one yeah i’ve got one and so on.
as I was lifting my fishing rod up I saw a fish at least I think it was a fish...
the it splashed up on my boat wet and slimy. The fish was thinking where am I and who are these ridiculous monsters with arms and long hair.
By Levi
Hello Levi, I really enjoyed reading your challenge this week. If you remember that a comma makes the reader pause, then you can add them for emphasis. Look at this sentence with the extra commas inserted.
ReplyDelete"One hot summer's day I was out with my father, we were fishing, minutes would pass, hours would pass, without even one nibble."
The commas make the reader slow down and emphasize that the time is really slow as they sit in the boat.
Well done, this is an excellent challenge!