As I walked along the scorching sand something caught my eye. When I got closer I could clearly see the footprint. It was enormous! In a flash, every myth I have ever heard raced through my mind. But I had one question who's was it? I sat down in the silky sand and buried my feet into the cool ground under the sand. I thought of all the possibilities the footprints could belong to hoping what ever it was wouldn't come back. As I stared at the footprint I thought maybe it would be best to be left a mystery.
By Isabella
Thursday, August 8, 2013
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Isabella I really like the way you wrote this, as a deep pondering at first, but then deciding to leave well enough alone. You did some very good writing, using nice adjectives about the sand. Great work!
ReplyDeleteamazing story Isabella used really great language for the sand! Lilly room 5
ReplyDeleteIsabella that story is sooo cool! the language used is amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteemma R5
Isabella, I really enjoyed reading your 100WC, it's the best one I've read so far, well done.
ReplyDeleteI think what makes it a great read initially is the fantastic vocabulary used, you really paint a picture for your readers. I also like your ending, possibly because I definitely would have to investigate and you decided to do the opposite, so that gets a reaction from your readers!
Maybe next time, you could think about using commas in your writing to tell your readers where to pause. What do you think?
Well done and keep writing. :)
Message for teacher - can you let me know the name of the school please? This post has been chosen for the showcase which will be published on Sunday 18th August.
ReplyDeleteHi there, our school's name is Broadgreen Intermediate School in Stoke, Nelson, NZ. Great news, Isabella will be wrapped :)
Deletethat's an amazing story Isabella
ReplyDeleteNikita :)