I could only hear the faint sound of hoot hoot as the train left the station into the tunnel my Mum, Dad waving and smiling at me. I felt alone nobody with me only a slight pat on my shoulder a kind voice saying your mum and dad will be alright I promise... I'll look after you. I was dragged pulling and trying to get away from her grasp tear's streaming down my face trying to get to my mum an dad but she was to strong and soon I was out of the train station. Crying my heart out screaming MUM DAD DON'T LEAVE ME!!!! PLEASE!!!!
By Lilly
Monday, August 19, 2013
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That's a heartbreaking piece of writing. I was left with lots of unanswered questions, which is always a good sign that you have aroused the curiosity in your reader. It feels like it was picked out of a longer story - if it were, I'd want to buy the book to find out more. Well done!
ReplyDeletethat was amazing Lilly. it was so sad. who was that kind voice belong to?
ReplyDeleteNikita :)
Excellent writing. You really captured the child's fear.
ReplyDelete