Thursday, August 22, 2013

Near miss..


As the train entered the tunnel the people were horrified.   They knew it would be a bad outcome.  There was no light at the other side of the tunnel. The train driver slammed on the brakes.  The wheels on the train squealed and sparks flew. The passengers ran up and down the train wildly like apes.  As they came closer to the end of the tunnel they started to slow down very fast, like there was glue on the tracks to stop the train. The train stopped just in time for it not to hit the end.  Then they had to warn the other trains that thought they would pass through.

By Keegan

2 comments:

  1. Hello Keegan,
    I liked how you changed the tunnel in a way that we would not expect....you gave it only one way in and no way out, not what a reader would think about a tunnel. The good description, like "The wheels on the train squealed and sparks flew." and "...like there was glue on the tracks..." Description helps paint pictures with words for your readers. I wonder what happened to the train and its passengers?
    Good job.
    Barbara (Team 100WC)
    The Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA

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  2. Hai Keegan
    Yes I did spell hi like that I liked the story because you used a different story instead of just going in the tunnel and coming out fine and dandy which was cool :D

    Xander

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