I was relaxing in
my bed when my boss called me and said that we had a dead bee to move from the
road. The only downside is that we are as small as ants. So I hoped into my car
and drove to where the dead bee was. My partner was already there trying to move
the bee. But this bee was massive compared to all of the other bees that we
have moved. We couldn’t move it one budge. So we called the tow truck service
and the came and towed the bee away. So I went back home and got back into my
bed.
By Zane
Zane I liked your idea to make the technicians people whose job it is to deal with gigantic bees - even though this one was ever larger than usual! To make your writing better next time, try to vary your conjunctions (you used "so" too many times). Another technique you could try is to not tell your reader that you are as small as an ant (nice simile, by the way), but to make them guess that you are! Thanks for entering the 100 word challenge this week, keep writing!
ReplyDelete