I was bleeding pretty bad, I lay in the middle of the poppy field weak. Blood gushed out from my side and my vision started to blur. Although I knew I didn't have much longer I felt happy. The sweet smell of poppies comforted me and reminded me of home. I laughed to my self remembering all the good times my family and I shared. I held my hand to my side putting pressure on my wound. I clenched my teeth and tried to focus on something else. I picked a poppy and started to relax. Everything started to slowly fade until my eyes closed and I rested in peace.
By Isabella
Well done! Great piece of writing! Potentially you could work on your structure a little bit - e.g. include isolated sentence to reinforce their importance. But overall really good! Keep it up :)
ReplyDeletethat is a good story Isabella.
ReplyDeleteNikita
Well done!I like your story,very good. Galley Hill School
ReplyDeleteit's wonderful i love it i love the words you use
ReplyDeleteWOW AMAZING!!!!!! lilly :)
ReplyDeleteIsabelle,
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful piece of writing, gave me a lump in my throat. You have really considered the reader and the character in your work.
Thoughtful and considerate!
Andrew
Team 100wc
Near Hay on Wye, Wales.
Very well done Isabella, a beautiful and thoughtful piece of work. You have carefully constructed this and produced a tear-jerking piece.
ReplyDeleteWell done
Andrew
Team 100wc
Nr Hay on Wye, Wales
This is an amazing story, with lots of detail, explaining all kinds of amazing things. How you thought of these wonderful ideas, is what i want to know! Well done!
ReplyDelete