I
took my friend and I on a miniature exploring adventure down a deserted valley.
We came across where I’m pretty sure an old city was. “I think a train crashed
into here”, we looked in the pond with soaked seats and smashed windows. She
started getting chills down her spine, I tried to calm her but as I did, I
started to see ghosts coming for us. I started getting petrified, but still
having courage to stand. Just then in the very pond we examined, feet raised
from the water then floated upside down, he looked like a ticket collector.
By Jewel
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
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Oh Jewel I love the fact that the feet in your story were floating up, it helped to lift the tension that you had created with your images of ghosts.
ReplyDeleteI think that reading your piece aloud to yourself to check that the story makes sense to the reader is a good idea before you publish