Wailing wind batted rain on to my window, I ducked under my covers as thunder boomed and lightning flashed across the sky. I turned up my radio so I couldn't hear the rain beating on the roof, but no matter how hard I tried the storm was louder. The only company I had was my best friend, soft toys and my family. I thought my life was about to end when school was cancelled until the miserable wet weather was over and all after school activities had been cancelled as well. The violent storm was getting out of hand as power lines fell…
by Hannah
Well done, good use of alliteration at the beginning. I wanted to read more!
ReplyDeletefrom 100wc team
Hi Hannah
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good piece of writing. You have one very long sentence in the middle of you writing and I wonder if you could have used some punctuation to break this sentence up a little. You have ended with a really good cliff hanger. Well done.
Rebecca (Team 100WC)
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for entering the 100 Word Challenge, I enjoyed reading your writing. You've used some great vocabulary in your writing, which helps the reader clearly imagine the storm.
Well done.
Mrs Stones
http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/