The dry,cracked earth so drained of water.
As if it had been in the oven for days.
pushing through the earth a green rotten head of a boy about eleven or so.He seems to have a wee smirk on his face all of a sudden boom! he opens hid eyes and is trying to push his hand through the earth.
I’m now freaking out boom! about a meter away another hand pushing trough the earth all of a sudden there are zombies surrounding me all getting closer and closer and there in no where to run and they threw me on the ground and are eating my brains for supper.....
By Ryan
The "wee smirk" - I just can't get it out of my head! Hehe, very scary zombies! You created suspense very well. "about a meter away" - the word about should be capitalized, and that last sentence is a bit long. You might consider cutting it or adding commas. Nice work, keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHi Ryan,
ReplyDeleteA very imaginative piece of writing. Make sure you read through the writing after you have finished, there are a couple of mistakes which you would have seen - "hid" instead of "his, and "in" instead of "is".
A great entry to this weeks 100 word challenge!
Mrs Symonds (Team 100W)
Linton, Cambridge